By Adeline Aris
Many couples ask the same question, “What can I do to have a long-lasting marriage?” they want that forever kind of love, a connection and love that perseveres through challenges and conflicts and comes out stronger, one that lasts the test of time, they many wonder “With all of the hardships that come with a long-term how can we achieve that kind of love?” In this article, the topics of how to have a long-lasting marriage will be explored and explained. Tips will be given in a video interview with Paul Aris and Michelle Dominique Aris. A couple who have been married for twenty-two years and have four children. Through their marriage, they have managed to preserve a deep love for each other. The question is how?
Why does the love disappear
Often, when people become comfortable in relationships, many take for granted what they have. Both parties will begin putting in less effort on dates, small gestures and trying to make their partner feel wanted and loved. Sadly, once comfort over the passion of the honeymoon phase sets in, there tends to be poorer communication between partners, and more misunderstandings tend to occur. Reassurance, support, open communication and effort are highly important for maintaining a long-term relationship.
Conquering hardships
Paul and Michelle have conquered many hardships throughout their relationship. Including Paul having cancer two times, their son Owen Aris being born with a heart condition, and Michelle obtaining a severe concussion. They have also worked through job loss together and many other big and small challenges. Through these times, they had to stop focusing on and thinking about just themselves and come together. Mutual support and facing the problem together lead to overcoming the issue in a healthy way that will have a positive impact on the relationship. If the partner who is struggling feels alone and unsupported during difficult times, then this can lead to major problems in the relationship. This is why Paul says it is so important to take time for yourself and your own hobbies during this time; you can’t focus on your partner’s needs if you are ignoring your own.
Creating joy in everyday life
Putting on music while cooking dinner, dancing together in the kitchen, going for gratitude walks, writing love letters and packing each other a lunch, these are some of the things Michelle and Paul do to create everyday love and joy in their marriage and suggest that other couples do as well. Get creative, turn everyday moments into extraordinary moments by taking time to do activities that make you both smile.
Growing together instead of apart
There are many phases throughout a long-term relationship and marriage. If one partner is expecting things to stay the same, then this can stunt a marriage. Michelle and Paul say that raising young children is hard, but it can also become a bonding experience and deepen a relationship. It gives couples the chance to be a team and work together and create beautiful new memories together, as well as see each other in a different way. Paul and Michelle have been through many phases and changes, and say that it doesn’t have to be difficult. If you support each other’s dreams and goals and are adaptable, wanting to grow together as a couple instead of apart in a relationship, it can flourish.
